1.Blow your nose and offer to show
the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
2.Grimace painfully while smacking
your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
3.Whistle the first seven notes
of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
4.Crack open your briefcase or
purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
5.Offer name tags to everyone getting
on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
6.Stand silent and motionless in
the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
7.When arriving at your floor,
grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they
open by themselves.
8.Lean over to another passenger
and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
9.Greet everyone getting on the
elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10.On the highest floor, hold the
door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped
down theshaft go "plink" at the bottom.
11.Stare, grinning, at another
passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
12.When at least eight people have
boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
13.Meow occasionally.
14.Bet the other passengers you
can fit a quarter in your nose.
15.Frown and mutter "gotta go,
gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
16.Show other passengers a wound
and ask if it looks infected.
17.Holler "Chutes away!" whenever
the elevator descends.
18.Walk on with a cooler that says
"human head" on the side.
19.Stare at another passenger for
a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner
of the elevator.
20.Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
21.Wear a puppet on your hand and
use it to talk to the other passengers.
22.When the elevator is silent,
look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
23.Say "Ding!" at each floor.
24.Say "I wonder what all these
do" and push the red buttons.
25.Listen to the elevator walls
with a stethoscope.
26.Draw a little square on the
floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your
"personal space."
27.Take a bite of a sandwich and
ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
28.Announce in a demonic voice:
"I must find a more suitable host body."
29.Make explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
30.Tell everyone the elevator is
going to crash every 5 seconds.
30.Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.